Travel and Art are my doorways to reflecting on life and rethinking what I am doing and why. Clear space = clear head. Well that is the goal anyway. That sort of thing. Travel and Art are extremely powerful forces in my life. They have helped me find what balance I think I have. An insight here and there. Some hope. A little purpose. And a lot of wonder.

As I have gotten older, my wonder has been worn away a bit; emotional erosion. You know, seen too much. But that really feels like a rotten excuse. I can border on cynical from time to time -which might be a surprise to those who think they know me. But in my heart I hate cynicism. I'll accept the ugly bits of reality; do we have other options? But cynicism seems too premeditated for my taste.

So to fight the easy out of cynicism, and instead force myself to constructive, this blog and podcast will be a regular part of my day. I am going to see just how honest I can be. And THAT is a bigger challenge than I allow to admit, I think. No. I'm pretty damn sure. (And I think we all know its true.)

I want to explore those regions of my heart, mind and spirit that all converge within the idea of perception: self perception, perception of the world, perception of community, and perception of our own place in society. All that being sort of a fancy way to say, how is it that we experience life, how  do we respond to it, how do we shape it, how do we explain it, and (for God's sake) how do we navigate it. For me, doubt and fear have built sturdy barriers to my sense of self worth and its twin, anxiety. At long last, I want to be released from all that; it has been a burden in my heart for far too long. 

So I set myself up you see. With challenges that I think I want. So, now, I have to actually -actually- do this. I am leaving in a few days to drive to the Sedona Summer Colony in Arizona to begin an artist residency for 2 weeks. Its insanity and refuge all at once. A hermitage and escape AND an in my face challenge to actually -actually- do something about all the chaos of perception and Art in my being. Not to settle it down mind you. But to focus and harness and get braver.

Is it irresponsible of me? Yeah, there's that. How will I make any money to survive? Don't rightly know. But I do know that if I don't leap I will regret it.  So I am going off the grid to write and paint and draw and sit in the quiet in the splendor of nature. I will visit as many national parks as I can.  And I will fill my life with as much awe and wonder as I can possibly experience. And see if what I have lived and loved can be of service and value to the people I love.

As my wife says, "more wonders to come."

Let it be so. For us all.